Why Men Don’t Talk – and How to Start the Conversation About Mental Health

Each November, Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month invites us to reflect on an uncomfortable truth: despite growing awareness, many men still find it incredibly difficult to talk about how they feel.

As a psychotherapist in Crouch End, North London, I often meet men who describe feeling anxious, low, or disconnected — yet struggle to put those feelings into words. Society has long taught men to “keep calm and carry on”, but this silence can take a heavy toll on mental wellbeing.

The Weight of Expectations

From an early age, boys often receive messages — both subtle and direct — that showing emotion equals weakness. Phrases like “man up” or “don’t cry” linger into adulthood, shaping beliefs about what strength should look like.

Over time, this can lead to what some of my male clients to talk about the sense of wearing a mask and keeping everything together for the sake of others. But beneath that mask, feelings of anxiety, shame, or sadness often build quietly.

How Silence Shows Up

When emotions are buried, they don’t disappear — they simply find other ways to surface.

Men may experience:

• Irritability or anger, when frustration covers sadness or fear.

• Overwork, using busyness to avoid what’s underneath.

• Withdrawal or isolation, feeling disconnected from loved ones.

• Physical symptoms such as tension, headaches, or digestive issues.

In therapy sessions, these patterns often emerge as signs of emotional overload — the body expressing what the mind feels unable to say.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy provides a private, non-judgemental environment to unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface. Therapy can help you:

• Learn to identify and express emotions safely.

• Understand the roots of stress, shame, or perfectionism.

• Build healthier coping strategies and relationships.

• Feel more connected — to yourself and others.

If You’re Struggling Right Now

If you’re finding things hard, please don’t go through it alone. Support is available:

• Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7 free helpline)

• Mind – mind.org.uk

• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – 0800 58 58 58

• Anxiety UK – anxietyuk.org.uk

If any of the above resonates with you and you'd would like to explore the idea of starting therapy, I offer a 30 minute free introductory call so please contact me here.

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Author: Jenny Beckman, PG Diploma Counselling and Psychotherapy. MBACP.