Why You Struggle to Accept Compliments (and How to Change That)

Why Do I Struggle to Accept Compliments?

Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable it feels when someone praises you? Instead of saying “thank you,” you might brush it off, deflect, or reply with a self-deprecating comment. If you often wonder “why can’t I accept compliments?” — you’re not alone.

Difficulty accepting compliments is more common than you might think. Understanding the psychology of compliments can help you stop deflecting praise, start receiving it gracefully, and improve your self-esteem.

Common Reasons You Struggle to Accept Compliments

Low self-esteem and self-worthIf you don’t believe positive things about yourself, compliments can feel untrue. You may dismiss kind words as politeness or even pity.

Fear of appearing arrogantMany people are raised to believe that accepting compliments equals vanity. This fear of seeming “big-headed” makes it difficult to simply say thank you.

Negative past experiencesIf you grew up with criticism, bullying, or emotional neglect, compliments may feel unsafe. You might even question people’s motives when they praise you.

PerfectionismWhen you hold yourself to impossibly high standards, compliments may feel undeserved. You focus more on flaws than on strengths.

Why Accepting Compliments Matters

Learning how to accept compliments gracefully isn’t about arrogance — it’s about building self-worth and connection. When you push away praise, you reinforce negative self-talk. When you accept it, you open yourself to:

·       Better self-esteem

·       Stronger relationships (people feel good when their kindness is received)

·       More self-compassion

Struggling with compliments often reflects a deeper challenge with self-worth, which can be explored and supported through therapy.

How to Accept Compliments: Practical Tips

Start small: just say “thank you.”It might feel awkward at first, but a simple “thank you” is enough. You don’t need to deflect or downplay it.

Notice your self-talk.Do you immediately think “they don’t mean that” or “I don’t deserve this”? Gently challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself: What if this compliment is true?

Keep a compliment journal.Write down compliments you receive and reflect on them. Over time, this helps retrain your brain to accept positive feedback.

Explore the deeper roots in therapy. If compliments trigger anxiety or discomfort, counselling can help uncover the underlying reasons — whether low self-esteem, perfectionism, or past experiences.

Can Therapy Help Me Accept Compliments?

Yes. Psychotherapy provides a safe space to explore why you find praise uncomfortable and to rebuild self-esteem from within. Working with a therapist can help you:

·       Overcome negative self-talk

·       Develop confidence and self-worth

·       Build healthier relationships with yourself and others

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever thought “why do compliments make me anxious?”, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with accepting praise — but change is possible. By practising new ways of responding and addressing deeper self-esteem issues in therapy, you can learn to receive compliments with ease and confidence.

👉 If you’d like support in building self-esteem, overcoming negative self-talk, and learning how to accept compliments, visit jbeckmancounselling.com